Saturday, September 27, 2003

...sometimes, after literally sitting around and wondering if you make any difference in the world and in anyone's life...wondering if they couldn't just hire some yolkel off the street to do what you do, because you feel about as appreciated as a cold sore...sometimes, just one sentence will pop out at you that makes you realize that, in some small, infinitesimal ways, you might matter.

Like last night. I had a couple of my RA's over to watch A Mighty Wind. (Hey, someone has got to assist with the education of the young and impressionable. Might as well be my dorky arse.) So, we're sitting there after the movie, talking, laughing...and then, Jessica's phone rings. She answers it, and it's a call from a friend of hers at home. Now, keep in mind -- I have no clue who this person is, and they sure as cocoa don't know me. But Jessica makes one comment, probably totally off-the-cuff, which made time freeze for me, and was the nicest thing anyone has said about me in, oh, forever:

Her comment was something along the lines of, "I'm over at my boss' apartment. Yeah, he lives on campus, and he's my boss, but he's more of a friend than anything." [Emphasis added by me.]

I slept more soundly last night than I have in months. No joke.

And, unless the little brazen hussy finds this posting, she'll never know what a huge, huge, huge difference her comment made in my life.

Crap. Now I'm feeling things again. I think I liked it better when my soul was devoid of life and there was just a dark, empty place where my heart used to be.

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