Monday, September 22, 2003

Hey -- didja catch the Emmys last night? I DIDN'T. I was running helter-skelter in the rain last night, dealing with some jackass political morons (translation: "Republicans") who were going door-to-door in the residence halls, soliciting personal information from the students. Like, say, their SOCIAL SECURITY NUMBER. I almost got to call the Jackson Police Department and get people arrested!! Yay! Still wouldn't make up for MISSING JON STEWART'S MONOLOGUE, but...see, solicitation of ANY sort is HIGHLY against all 'Saps rules, but especially in the residence halls. So, I got to deal with some puffed up self-important fat, balding, white guy who thought he could toss his Boss Hogg self abouts and think I would cower in fear. Ask my RA's about my 'tude last night. They all got a scathing voice mail from me. If this appalling ham creature thought he'd intimidate me...feh. Go back to the county fair and get on a soapbox, slappy.

Other bit of random ulcer-inducing news: my coworker, Mike Coogans, likes to walk around the neighborhood for exercise. I do Yoga. I can't judge. Anyway, Mike, my clearly not-heterosexual coworker, calls me on Friday afternoon to tell me that "some hottie chick" pulled over in her $80,000,000 Mercedes SUV to try and pick him up. Pick. Him. Up. The last date I had came in bag of dried fruit. And this cheeky bastich is being hit on by the gender he cares nothing for.

I quit. I'm going to get a less-stressful job, like manhandling HIV-positive cobras or something.

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