Forget the idea of an essay as part of the Admissions process -- I am now a staunch advocate the idea of a mandatory psychological screening for incoming students.
In the last day or two, let's see -- we've gotten reports of strippers, pot-bellied pigs, and drunken first-year students standing on the lawns of the fraternity houses screaming that the men in the fraternities "don't know how to treat women right."
PLUS...there is the added advantage of the lovely story of one of my residents coming to see me, claiming that their roommate is doing drugs, and that she confiscated some of the paraphanelia. "Great," thinks I. "This day is turning out to live up to the ideal of a Monday the 13th." So, I see the baggie containing the drug-related material. It includes: (a) a bottle cap from Michelob Lite, (b) a tube used for yeast infections, and (c) something that smells an awful lot like cranberry potpourri.
I'm just looking for the hidden cameras now. My life makes utterly no sense. *sigh*