Monday, November 17, 2003

Well, I finally bloody well did it.

-- y'ever have that certain someone, that special person who...you really can not explain why...but you've gotten close to them. You share something, something completely inexplicable...something that defies a rational, logical definition. This person, in my case, may be someone who you have parenthetically known for years. Someone who you've known OF, but not really known. Yet...you're brought together through circumstances that will make you feel an aneurysm coming on if you try and explain it.

This is a person who you have gotten to know REALLY well over the course of two and a half years...a person whose personality and yours may not have matched perfectly at first...but you've both grown. And grown together...and towards one another.

A person who you trust implicitly...who you could be just at home with lying next to them in flannel pajamas as you would be sitting in the finest restaurant...who you can share your deepest darkest secrets with as well as mock the passersby with. Someone who is YOU, but isn't you. Who compliments your personality in ways you never knew you needed...who helps complete a circle you never noticed was an ellipse...

Someone who, despite your best efforts and calculated attempts to not...someone who you have developed true, real, and sincere feelings for.

...and then you share said feelings, ready to take the risk and be shot down with.

...and, after sharing said feelings, the response you're given lies somewhere between "Oh, that's so sweet" and pure "But you're just a friend."

Yeah. Happy freakin' birthday, there, Sonny. No wonder Christ died when He reached your age (33). New beginnings, my flippant arse.


...and now, I will go and drink. Alone. In the dark.

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