Wednesday, January 07, 2004

Full moon. Craziness abounds. THANK GOD THE STUDENTS AREN'T HERE.


So, I have this, before I begin this story, I feel the need to provide an EDITOR'S NOTE, in that this is indeed an actual friend and not a pathetic attempt to veil trauma in my own life by claiming that a FRIEND is going through this and not me. I fess up when it's trauma in my life. I fess up when I have wild shenanigans in my life.

Anyway...I have this friend who is going through a REALLY rough time due to a horrid, bad, icky, nasty breakup. She has a track record in the area of the heart that rivals my own -- somehow, we both [until recently, on my part] seemed to make the most jackass style decisions when it came to dating. She attracts the WORST guys, and I [again, until recently] used to attract the WORST women. Many of our respective claims on our bad attraction wasn't that we were shagging Hell's Angels or anything -- both of us seem to be masters of the Bad Timing, as well as masters of Just Not The Best Choice.

But I digress.

She [let's call her Lynn, 'kay] was married for about five years. Lynn and her hubby were never what I -- or most carbon-based life forms -- would deem properly matched: she was the strong, domineering, nigh-manipulative one, and he was the capitulative little mongoose who would have set himself on fire had she asked it. The fought like cats and buffalo, but there was a FORM of love there. Not the type of relationship *I* would have wanted, but hey -- it was their life, so they could do whatever they bloody well wanted to.

Now, at the time, Lynn knew this guy named...Dave. Dave, whose spouse...Bunny..., and Lynn and her hubby were all buddies. The women worked together at the same place, and the men-folk were the bread winning heroes. However, there was a little twist: Dave and Lynn secretly were attracted to each other, and weren't the most subtle about it. -- now, I can't state whether or not they were DOING anything about said attraction (like, say, boinking), but there were always a LOT of raised eyebrows when they were in close proximity to each other.

Fast-forward to 2002. Lynn & Steve divorce, Dave & Bunny divorce. Lynn & Dave being shacking up with one another, yes, BEFORE all papers are finalized and every "I" is dotted and "T" crossed. And they shag like mad puppies until January 1st of this year. But, I'm getting a little ahead of myself.

Lynn states that she does not want a SERIOUS relationship, just a boink buddy. Dave agrees, as he's been out of the dating loop for a while: the last time he just dated? Try 1987. So, they agree to see other people, but still be very joined at the groin to one another. Lynn starts seeing this guy named Joe, and Joe wants to microwave their relationship. Joe wants the 2.3 kids and Till Death Do We Blah Blah Blah stuff. Lynn just wants to spend time with someone who will buy her nice things and boost her ego, touting her as the sexiest thing since time began. Dave's probably out trolling for bleached-blonde, huge boobied ho's right about this time.

Lynn and Joe continue to date (and yes, JUST "date" -- no nookie for the Joe) for months, in SPITE of the fact that she's just leading this poor schmoe on. Joe eventually wises up (I believe his passive-aggressive term he used to describe Lynn was "manipulative bitch") and dumps Lynn, freeing Lynn and Dave to pursue more squishing in the sheets...which, ironically enough, they were both becoming more and more used to doing with one another, and they were developing strong feelings for each other. -- okay, actually, they were ADMITTING to these feelings that blind men in Mozambique could have seen.

So, Lynn & Dave go on a lot of little happy vacations with one another, and they have what Lynne describes as the Best New Year's Eve Ever. She & Dave go out gallivanting about the cityscape, holding hands and frolicking freely in expressing their love for one another. The next morning, after they have breakfast, Dave informs Lynn she needs to leave the house. Lynn, expecting that Dave meant that his kids were coming over and they might not need to see them in a compromising situation, asked him if she could come over later to innocently enough come by and spend part of the day watching TV with him and the kids. -- now, keep in mind that Dave had introduced Lynn to his kids, his friends, and even took a trip to INTRODUCE HER TO HIS PARENTS. This would lead one to assume that Lynn had attained a special place in the heart of Dave.

But, Dave told her that she might not be interested in coming over, as Betty was coming over.

Betty. The other woman he'd been seeing and sleeping with.

Breaking not only the ONE cardinal rule about their relationship, but also pretty much effectively making that comment he made about not seeing anyone else and swearing blindly that she was the only person he was shagging come across as a -- whaddacallit? Oh, yeah -- LIE.

...and thus, trauma/drama ensued, and the relationship is now...well, I'm not sure. Despite the BEST recommendations of people [raises hand], Lynn would still take Dave back, because she can't imagine him out of her life. She'd decided to hold herself to the belief that...ONE day, when they were BOTH ready...they'd settle down and have this idealized life that they both wanted.

Now...she's just in pain, and it kills me to see a friend hurt. Okay, I want to scream "I COULD HAVE BLOODY WELL TOLD YOU THIS WOULD HAPPEN IF YOU GAVE YOURSELF OVER TO THAT SMARMY LITTLE PRAT,"

There are a LOT more details to this, but now you know the gist of it all. And now I have to get coffee.

More ranting later.

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