- For starters, I feel the need to apologize to all of you who heard me speak last Wednesday. I can state with 100% certainty that my mind was NOT there. A lot had happened the day before, and I was still mentally and emotionally reeling by Wednesday night (still am, to be blunt). You know how you sometimes have those days when you just can't seem to focus no matter what -- that no matter how many times you just try to look through the windshield of your life, there's too much going on on the side of the road, and it distracts you? That was me, Wednesday night. Oh, to be sure, I tried to tough it out, tried to put on a "brave li'l Sonny" face and do the best I could, but let's be honest: I've been better. I've spoken better. I've "been there" more.
- If I'd had half a brain, you know what I should have done? Torn my notes up. Right then and there. Just stopped talking, smiled a little, and ripped up what I had on paper. Oh, the notes themselves were genius and incredibly well written (and available to any and all who want to see them). But really? I should have just spoken from my heart.
Now, had I actually done this, many of you might have thought I was crazy. -- well, crazier than you already think I am, at any rate. But, in hindsight, and after actually listening to what God was trying to tell me...
...how cool would it have been had I done that, if for no other reason than to illustrate to all of you what it really means to "dive in," to experience the serendipity of letting God just...move you. To not be afraid to be seen as vulnerable. To not be afraid to be seen as possibly making a mistake (because, again, those notes I wrote out? Genius. Pure genius). To not be afraid to just dive into your own heart, the place where you can hear the voice of God and feel the stirrings of the Spirit within you -- that place inside each of us where we try, try, try to ignore and counter with the argument that you're not behaving rationally, that you're not behaving "right."
Yeah, like I said Wednesday: there are rules we are to follow (start at Matthew and stop when you get to redemption and forgiveness -- just don't take a left at being judgemental). There are things we as Christ followers are called to do and called to NOT do that the rest of the world might look at us and think we operate under some medieval code of lunacy.
But truth be told, my wish for all of you -- the 706ers reading this, my friends who periodically check in to see if I've died, those of you who have stumbled across this by "accident" -- my wish is that you can and will live a life of that freedom, of not having any restraints in your expression of love and serving Christ and other people. To not be afraid...like I was...to let the Spirit move you, and to not be afraid to model what a life of freedom in Jesus actually looks like.
To not be afraid to lead the charge in diving.