Saturday, October 17, 2009

Random Deep Thought of the Day

So - I had this thought while I was playing with Kai this morning:

He's gotten to the age where he really recognizes me. Not just in the "hey, I know this guy; he's hung out with me a lot and I kinda feel safe with him" way, but in the "that's my daddy!" way. Ash will call me by name (Daddy, not Sonny) and he'll start to laugh, his eyes will light up, and he gets genuinely excited to see me - to just be in my presence. And when I smile at him, he smiles back - and then starts to laugh.

This made me think about my own relationship with my dad...and what I am missing by not having him around, as well as other introspective and personal thoughts that make the backdrop of a rainy Saturday afternoon very appropriate.

But I also started thinking about/paralleling Kai's reaction to me to my own reaction to the movement and presence of God in my life.

Kids, for as complicated as they make things sometimes (i.e.: eating out), truly pare some parts of life down to the simplest of concepts. I see how Kai reacts to being around me - and I wonder: isn't that joy, that expression of completeness, that happiness at being with me how I am supposed to feel and what I am supposed to experience when my spirit and The Spirit co-mingle? Shouldn't there be a celebration, a comfort, in and through me? Shouldn't I just get elated when I look (and just like Kai, sometimes all I need to do is not look around but simply notice) and see my Father noticing me, and smiling back at me?

And honestly - doesn't God feel that same happiness, that elation at being in our presence? Is seeing us so full of joy and vibrancy part of what makes communion with Him enjoyable on His part, and why He longs for us to be with Him?

Does this mean that God and I share an emotion? (Rhetorical question.) Does this mean when I look at Kai and he looks at me, that the joy we both feel - with it coming from two completely different perspectives - is kinda the same as when God looks at me and I at Him? (Rhetorical question.)

So what does it mean when as of late - I've not felt that connection, that elation with God?

That's a non-rhetorical question.

No comments: