SCENE: I was starring in a musical being staged in the old Tupelo High School auditorium. Appearing in this musical with me were several of Ashley's RAs, Tony Hale (as "Buster" from ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT), LL Cool J, Alfonso Riberio and Idris Elba. Tony Hale was jealous that I had been cast in the lead role and that he was my understudy.
On opening night - partially to appease Tony Hale and partially due to the fact that I had not memorized any of my lines or songs - I allowed Tony Hale to take the lead while I hid under the baby grand piano sitting in the wing of the stage. Once Tony took the stage and people saw what a natural he was for the part, I snuck out of the theater. Somehow, I next found myself walking on the campus of the University of Miami with my cousin Ben and his wife Suzanne towards the University Center (from the general direction of the LC). They wanted to go visit Ashley, so we turned and started walking towards Pearson...were Ashley, he mom, Cricket and Maggie were sitting at a bank of telephones in the lobby, hosting a telethon.
Later that night, as I was walking through a park, I came across Tony Hale. He had been so wound up and emotionally overcharged by the prospect of playing the lead in this musical, that he had decided to cover himself (while fully clothed) in cooking oil and dry onion soup mix, and then wrap himself in plastic wrap. Somehow, he managed to cover the outside of the plastic wrap with Post-It Notes with quotes from plays by Anton Chekhov before passing out on a bench under a street light.
...and this, boys and girls, is why not getting a decent night's sleep the night before, and then not eating all day the following day and then enjoying a huge plate of Mexican food for dinner that night followed by eating Jelly Bellies while watching LOST just before falling asleep might not be the single best idea ever.