Thursday, April 10, 2014

A Poet Try

Well, since April is National Poetry Month, and I've been all melancholy as of late...it's like the two themes go hand in hand. So, here's my (poor) attempt at expression through poetry.

When the Words Won't Come

I stare at the computer screen.
The cursor - aptly named - blinking at me. Mocking the empty spaces.
Almost nervously twitching, awaiting to be used to fill spaces with ideas and thoughts to share with the ones who will read them.

And still, the words won't come.

I stare at the blank page before me.
Pen to paper, tactile therapy.
The rhythm and cadence of scratching out words. Creating onto something what once was nothing.

And still, the words won't come.

It's not that the words which once flowed so freely are now blocked;
It's that in their place is a feeling of
Emptiness.

The words that I used to love, the medium used to find joy in, the sacred space where I  would put into expression the images and beliefs that were tied between my head and heart...

Empty.

Frustration. Anxiety. Despair. Now these sit and stare back at me in the void of where the words once were. Unhealthy thoughts. Unhealthy actions. Spurred on by my depression over a sensation of loss that ironically, I can't even communicate.

And still, the words won't come.

I miss the joy. I miss the excitement. I miss the ecstasy of playing the role of conductor, arranging the characters into a symphony of life and connection.

I miss the craft.

I miss the creating.

And this is echoed in my feeling of loss of not sensing the Creator.

And still. The words won't come.

1 comment:

Alise said...

Ugh. I've been feeling a lot of that lately. A LOT. So yeah, I'm with you, my friend.