Tuesday, July 08, 2014

Washes Whiter Than

I really shouldn't get so emotional while doing laundry.

Oh, sure: I can justify a grumbling over the seemingly unending mountain of clothes, sheets, and towels that apparently self-replicates every few days.

I can smile with a gleam of nostalgia in my eyes as I fold shirts and shorts that have been passed down to Eli, remembering what Kai was like at age one and how stinking adorable Eli looks in every article of clothing I've had to wash to get rid of the breakfast/lunch/dinner he wears as much as eats.

I can understand the way my heart flutters a bit as I put into a pile to store for Eli the clothes that Kai has outgrown, noting that he is growing up way too damn fast.

But then I feel my breath catch in my throat, brought on by noting that Eli's "outgrown" pile contains pajamas, shirts, onesies - all manner of baby clothing - that were purchased by my mom. Clothes that now he has outgrown them, my mom will not be purchasing replacement clothes for. 


Clothes that will go into a large bin in our basement for eventual sale or trade at the local consignment shop. Clothes that are moving on. Clothes that are moving on, even though parts of my heart have yet to move on.

I really shouldn't get so emotional while doing laundry.

Oh, sure: we've kept special baby clothes for Kai. We're keeping special baby clothes for Eli. Neither of us have the skill set to be able to craft a blanket out of 34,721 shirts, onesies, or footie pajamas to pass on to the boys.

They'll have clothes. Clothes they wore when they were babies, that one day when they're older they will look upon and be amazed they were ever that small.

We'll have memories. Memories of who gave them what, and how little time passed between when the shirt was first too big for them before it became skin tight almost seemingly overnight.

But not everything. To hold on to everything would be too much. Some things need to be let go of. Some things need to move on. Some things would weigh us down, clutter up space, and prohibit the ability to grow.

(I think I'm still talking about laundry, but maybe a bit more than that.)

I really shouldn't get so emotional while doing laundry.

But then again, how else am I going to get some of these stains out?

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